


The Absolute Truth

by enrasin



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-18 04:12:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1414645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enrasin/pseuds/enrasin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pure, unadulterated truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This has actually been in my laptop forever (a few months) and I decided to post it because my yunjae feels are overwhelming me right now. I intend to use tons of real-life references because I like them soooo much and I did a ton of research. At the end of each chapter, I'll just list out what facts I've inserted in the story.

Kicking a stone, Jaejoong turns his head to look at the building that he had just exited. He knew that it would be hard to get in S.M. Entertainment, but there had been a part of him that had dreamt of singing a single line in front of the interviewer and then becoming a trainee immediately. Well, it was obvious that this would not be the case now. The interviewer, a professional looking woman with her hair tied up in a tight bun, had looked on disinterestedly when Jaejoong began singing his practiced piece. She had stopped him after merely 5 seconds, thanked him, and headed out of the room.

Hearing voices in front of him, he raised his head to see a bunch of teenagers quarrelling. He looked on curiously, it was his first time in Seoul and he had never been privy to street fights such as this; it simply did not occur in his hometown as everyone knew each other too well to start brawling in the streets.

Looking on, he can spot a kid standing protectively in front of the other, with a few other kids surrounding him as they assessed the opposing gang. At that moment, the kid gave a subtle glance to another kid on his right, and as if receiving a message through telepathic means, the gang started throwing punches and kicks at the opposition. The other gang attempted to throw back the attackers before sensibly doing a hasty retreat.

Jaejoong simply looked on, dumbfounded. He did not know what had just transpired but guessed that the gang that ran away had somehow provoked the other.

“I wonder who was in the wrong?” Thoughts flashed across Jaejoong’s mind. Being a naïve kid of merely 15 years old, he stared at the kid he had first noticed seemingly without any fear of retaliation from the stronger gang. The kid, who was wearing a wifebeater and baggy jeans, seemed to have noticed Jaejoong’s appraising stare, and turned over, giving a winning smile to him.

“Oh wow, boy does that kid look cute. Hmm, the other kid must have been in the wrong, someone who can give such a genuine smile would not purposely inflict harm on others,” Jaejoong’s naïve mind told him. Smiling back with a shy smile, he hurried past the spectacle, nodding to the gang to show them that he meant no harm.

★★★★★★

A year later, he was back at the building again. Only this time, he was returning because he had been formally accepted as a trainee at the company.

The time was 3.24PM, 07th June 2001. His heart pounding furiously, Jaejoong entered the building cautiously. The lobby looked normal, with a security guard sitting lazily at the reception, idly watching him walk past.

With trembling fingers, he got into the lift, the lift that would catapult him into the future, into his dream of being a singer.

Jaejoong can barely remember meeting Lee Soo-man. He smiles pleasantly enough, but underlying is the toughness of a man who has had to weather through difficult times. The assigned guide then brings him to all the different training areas - trainees only have one building to themselves consisting of 4 floors, but there are so many twists and turns and the corridors all look the same, making it excruciatingly hard for newcomers to find their way at first.

That's when Jaejoong sees him. He practically hops into his path and smiles, a blindingly bright smile, revealing a cute snaggletooth hidden near the corner of his mouth. Jaejoong is momentarily stunned into silence, taking in the sudden appearance of this guy.

Extending a hand, the guy cheerfully addresses him. "Hey I'm Yunho. You must be a new trainee right?"

Shocked into silence, Jaejoong tries to form words in his mouth. "Y-y-yess. My name is Jaejoong."

Yunho quirks his head to the side and looks at him appraisingly. "Your accent, you're not from Seoul too?"

Jaejoong shakes his head. "Nope, I'm from Gongju. But I'll be staying Seoul permanently from now on so..." Jaejoong lets his words trail off as he remembers his mum sending him off tearfully, and thanks god for an amazing mum who can understand his dreams and allow him to go into the city by himself at a tender age of 15.

Yunho's voice brings him back to reality and he realizes that he's been zoning out. ".... aren’t you that guy from the street that day?"

Jaejoong starts to shake his head, “No I don’t think so, the last time I came I was so distraught at being rejected I didn’t even notice anyone…..” His voice trails off as he remembers a certain kid from a street fight who gave a blinding smile to him. “Hey, aren’t you that guy from the street fight?”

Yunho answers him half-seriously “Yeah, that was me. Hey, do me a favour would you? Don’t mention that street fight thing to others, S.M. doesn’t really like people tarnishing their company’s image. And what more, a hot trainee at that!” Ending with an egoistic praise, he bounds away without waiting for a reply,.

Jaejoong is so taken aback by his friendliness that he does not even notice that Yunho was donning a ridiculously blue tracksuit and had outrageous make up on. He would later on find out from the other trainees that Yunho had been filming for Dana's new mv that day and was to be a guest rapper.

Feeling pleased that he had managed to talk to someone on his first day at the building (putting aside the little fact that he had not been the one to start the conversation), he settled in a corner and began texting his girlfriend.

"Baby, guess where am I now!?"

"Are you at SM already!? Did you see anyone famous? ㅋㅋ"

"No ㅠㅠ but it's okay there will be tons of opportunities to see them in the future!"

"Hopefully ㅋㅋ! Remember to come back often baby, I miss you already!"

"Heheh, I miss you more!"

Closing his flip phone with a satisfying thud sound, he stood up and began exploring what would be his second home for years to come.

★★★★★★

Facts  
\- Jaejoong auditioned to SM twice and was accepted the second time.  
\- They met in a street fight. (I do not know(?) or am unsure of the details so I took creative liberty with it heh.)  
\- Yunho was wearing a godawful blue tracksuit when he was a guest rapper in Dana's mv, Diamond.  
\- S.M. has three(?) main buildings, trainees have one building to themselves.  
\- Yunho had a cute little snaggletooth at the corner of his mouth before debut, you can see it in Hug mv.  
\- Jaejoong's hometown is Gongju.  
\- He had a girlfriend when he first entered S.M.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is up really fast because this was sort of written the same time as the previous chapter. Kind of a filler chapter but I came across all those awful jobs (or not really jobs, things) that Jaejoong had to do in order to achieve his dream and I thought this merited a chapter, at least. And yes, I'm a sucker for DBSKXSJ, has anyone noticed yet? Anyway, I have the next two chapters written already and will probably post it up before I go overseas next week! The real action is gonna begin really soon! ^^

“Aish, this is so tough!” Jaejoong complained as he flopped down on the floor beside Heechul and Jongwoon, who were watching the other trainees with detached interest.

“There’s a reason why we are not in Class A, Jaejoongie.” Heechul did not even bother to turn to look at Jaejoong while replying him.

“I know! But still, look at Yunho and Junsu! We’re all learning the same choreography and techniques but why do they seem like they’re dancing a different dance from us?” Jaejoong continued grumbling as he looked at both the men who were currently, unknowingly, putting on a performance for the three lazy bums sitting down.

“It’s a wonder you even managed to keep it up for so long,” Jongwoon remarked. “Weren’t you up till two last night because you were working in that coffee-shop around the corner?”

“How many part-time jobs do you have, seriously?” Heechul asked. “And how do you even find the time to work part-time, I don’t know. I’m so bushed after each training that I can barely make it home before I collapse.”

“Hyung, you can’t ask that!” Jongwoon winced at the slightly impolite question that had been asked.

Jaejoong thought of his family in Gongju, and the tiny apartment in Seoul that he was currently renting, where the rent was paid out of his own pocket because his family could not even afford to send money to him in Seoul. He thought of how he donated his blood last week just to get the free cookies that were supposed to be a reward for a good deed, of how he had been selling candies outside the supermarket near his rented apartment in the morning because he had been lagging behind on his rent. Knowing that other trainees were well aware of his plight and that Heechul had meant no harm, he pasted a smile on his face, not wanting others to worry about him.

“Hey, speaking of jobs, I just got my new hairdressing license yesterday! Does anyone here want a free haircut, courtesy of Kim Jaejoong?” Jaejoong tried to brighten the slightly awkward atmosphere.

“Uhhhh, I would really like to volunteer to be your guinea pig, but look at my glorious hair now!” As if to prove his point, Heechul flipped his hair and hurriedly turned to look at Jongwoon. “What about you? Think about it, if he really debuts in the future, you can brag to others that you got your hair cut by the famous Kim Jaejoong!”

“But….” Jongwoon trails off as he catches the meaningful look Heechul is shooting at him. “Weeeell, I guess it couldn’t hurt.” He shrugs and smiles at Jaejoong.

“Great! Let’s use one of the dressing rooms, I’ll check if one is available!” Jaejoong visibly brightens and bounds out of the room in search of a dressing room.

It is at that point where Yunho promptly plops on the floor, occupying the space that Jaejoong had left empty.

“Hey, what were you guys talking about?” Yunho enquired curiously.

“Nothing much, Jaejoongie was just jealous of your amazing dancing skills.” Heechul smiled mischievously.

“What, it’s not that amazing.” But Yunho looks pleased, nonetheless. “Besides, he’s so much better than me at singing. Have you heard his voice, it’s like an angel’s.”  
He adds as an afterthought. And before either Heechul or Jongwoon can reply, he’s off again, bouncing astoundingly in time with the music that was blaring overhead.

“Heeeeey guys!” Jaejoong’s head popped in from a slightly ajar door, causing both Heechul and Jongwoon to turn around. “It’s time for your haircut, Jongwoon-hyung!”

Heechul nudged Jongwoon with great relish.

“Come on, let’s go get your hair cut already!”

“Aish, okay okay, I’m coming Jaejoong-ah.” Jongwoon plastered a smile on his face to cover up his nervousness at getting his hair cut by a rookie hairdresser.

★★★★★

“Tada!” Jaejoong exclaimed with an exaggerated flourish reminiscent of professional hairdressers. Jongwoon peeked nervously in the mirror and let out a sigh.

“It’s good isn’t it! I told you it would be fine!” Jaejoong bounced about excitedly, happy to have completed his first haircut seemingly successfully. “Oh, look at the time  
now, I have work soon! Okay goodbye then!” Jaejoong rushed out of the room, leaving Jongwoon and Heechul looking at each other exasperatedly.

“So… how am I gonna tell him that this haircut looks godawful on me?” Jongwoon buried his face in his hands and wailed. “How am I even going to walk around with what looks like a bird’s nest on my head!”

“Well, I think it looks good, actually. Maybe it’s your face that is the problem.” Heechul smirked at Jongwoon’s reflection in the mirror.

“Yah!” Jongwoon shouted playfully at Heechul as the latter ran out of the room laughing. “What did you just say!?”

★★★★★

Facts:  
. There are different classes at SM where you are placed depending on your ability in that particular skill. (eg. Singing, dancing.)  
. Jaejoong took up many part-time jobs during his trainee period. (yes, even selling candy and donating blood)  
. He somehow obtained a hairdressing license.  
. Jongwoon (SJ Yesung’s real name), Heechul were friends with both Yunho and Jaejoong.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I ALMOST forgot to post this ugh. But anyway, I'm flying off in about 6 hours yay! Not going to anywhere new but I don't know, the place holds many fond memories for me hehe. And oh, I'm not actually a native english speaker (technically my mother tongue is mandarin chinese) so if you spot any mistakes please feel free to correct me (in a nice way because I get really sad if people are mean to me). Next update will be at least a week later so please wait for me. ^^

The first time Jaejoong had been placed in a project group, he was ecstatic. To him, it meant that the long gruelling days of training would be over and he would finally be able to earn a living, not to mention be famous. He had caught on fast though, after the dissolving of his 3rd project group, that project groups were only tentative and did not work out about 80% of the time. That did not, however mean that he was used to it.

Currently, he was in a project group with three other members – Yunho, Heechul and Youngwoon. He silently thanked god for his luck in always being placed in project groups with someone he knew (i.e. Yunho). He liked this group better than other groups that he had been placed in too, because he knew two-thirds of the people and Youngwoon was always friendly. Things seemed to be going well for the group, they already had a name – Four Seasons where a member was supposed to represent one season each, and were even rooming together in an apartment now.

“Yah, Kim Jaejoong! Why are you wearing my shirts again, I have nothing else to wear now!” Heechul’s screech could be heard from Jaejoong’s room.

“Hyung it’s alright,” Yunho could be heard soothing him. “Here, wear one of mine.”

Jaejoong let out a smile, thinking that Yunho was definitely an angel.

Just then, Yunho barged into his room dramatically, seemingly attempting to scare Jaejoong.

“Yah, what is wrong with you?” Jaejoong looked up, feigning anger. “Don’t you know how to knock on the door?” He almost felt sorry when he saw the scared look appear in the younger’s eyes.

“Sorry hyung, it’s just..” Yunho started rambling, words pouring out in incoherent sentences.

“YouknowI’vebeenhearingthingsandI’mjustscaredthattheywillcometrueandthenwhatwouldIdo.”

“Wait, wait. You need to slow down. What the hell?” Jaejoong seemed confused at the words that didn’t seem like words.

“I’ve just been hearing some things, that’s all. I wanted to tell Heechul hyung or Youngwoon hyung, but what if they just blow me off?” Yunho looked vulnerable and for a fleeting moment Jaejoong wanted to hug him and protect him from the world.

“Come here,” Jaejoong patted the space beside him. “Tell me what happened, slowly.” He added.

“You know Junsu?” Jaejoong nodded in affirmation. He did not know Junsu personally but he knew that he was a highly-ranked trainee that the other trainees looked up too. “Well he was at training today and he said something about S.M. losing money.” Yunho ventured timidly. “They were counting on Junsu for their big break but then his voice suddenly broke. And now… there are rumors of a new boy group being formed. If that happens, they won’t debut a new boy group for years. What’ll happen to us?”

This was the first time Jaejoong saw Yunho break down in tears. Patting the boy’s head, he did not know what to say, but a sentence came out unbidden.

“Well, we’ll just have to make sure we’re in there then! Look at your amazing dancing skills, they’d be a fool not to pick you.” Jaejoong said earnestly, believing with all his heart that Yunho would make it.

Him?

Maybe not.

But Yunho?

Definitely.

★★★★★★

“Come on, there’s still room for improvement!” Yunho was determined to whip them all into shape, being bossy despite his status as the maknae in the group.

“Aish, Yunho-ya, we need to take a break.” Youngwoon finally gathered his courage to speak up, flanked by Heechul and Jaejoong.

“Look at the time, it’s 11pm already, let’s take a rest.” Jaejoong spoke up meekly.

“Oh alright,” Yunho grumbled, reluctantly flopping down on the polished wood.

“Hey, are any of you hungry?” Heechul spoke up, his grumbling stomach serving as evidence for his hunger. As evidence of Yunho’s influence despite being the maknae, Jaejoong and Youngwoon instinctively turned to Yunho with puppy eyes.

“Fine let’s go get some food. How about Apgujung?” Yunho once again reluctantly agreed, causing cheers to be heard around the room.

As the others gathered their belongings, Jaejoong turned to Yunho, eyes softening.

“Maknae ah, don’t be so hard on yourself, it makes our hearts ache to see it.” He whispered to himself.

★★★★

“Hey here’s a 7-11, maybe we can find cup noodles here!” Youngwoon exclaimed, rushing headfirst into the convenience store.

Looking at the price tags on the noodles, Jaejoong was disappointed to find that most of it were out of their price range. Scouring the shelves, he reluctantly took the cheapest cup noodles available, only costing 85cents.

Sitting down on the sidewalk, they started devouring their cup noodles, ignoring the stares of the rich and famous passing by them. One particular woman though, was walking a dog. The dog seemed to smell their noodles and let out a series of barks.

“Alright alright, let’s go. I’ll buy you that next time.” Giving a condescending look at them, the woman muttered unhappily. Trying his best to ignore the remark, Jaejoong dug into his cup noodles ferociously.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Yunho whispered conspiratorially. “They’re just rich snobs who don’t know anything.”

Jaejoong gave a grateful smile to his dongsaeng, silently thanking god for putting this person in his life.

★★★★

(Decided to stop calling them facts, just a random pile of information I gleaned that SHOULD be true but idk.)  
. Youngwoon is SJ’s Kangin’s real name.  
. Yunho and Jaejoong were (almost) always placed in the same project groups.  
. Jaejoong used to steal Heechul’s clothes to wear during the Four Seasons period.  
. Junsu was good friends with Yunho pre-debut.  
. Junsu was supposed to debut solo, but did not due to his voice breaking.  
. Four Seasons comprised Yunho, Jaejoong, Heechul and Kangin, each representing a season where Yunho was Spring and Jaejoong was Summer.  
. The trip to Apgujung is real, described by themselves in an interview. You can read the transcript here: http://allrisexiahtic.tumblr.com/post/5904976984/yunho-jaejoong-heechul-kangins-trainee-past-part  
. Yunho used to call Jaejoong ‘hyung’ when they debuted, so I’m assuming this started from their trainee days. (if you’re interested, it went from Jaejoong hyung to Jaejoong sshi and finally Jaejoongie awwwwwww.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Aaaaaand I'm back! No excuses, I've been back for a few days but I couldn't get my muse to work OTL. And I've watched Tiny Times 1.0/2.0 which are really good and also 3 peas in a pod (It's actually an Australia-Singapore movie), which really exceeded my expectations yay. But today is a happy day because I went crazy shopping for work clothes and I got another really good job offer! So I'm back in business! And a very happy early 10th anniversary to DBSK, my babies, who have been with me for more than half of the time they were formed. I rejoiced, I cried, I got over a looooot of fandom drama. But most of all, the five of them taught me how to live for myself while at the same time cherishing them .<3 And personally I like this chapter a lot so I hope you guys like it too! ^^

“Uh huh, I see. Sure, I’ll tell Yunho.”

He had just received a call from his pseudo-manager (which could not actually be called a real manager as they had not debuted yet) who had asked Yunho and him to head to the President’s office at approximately 1.30pm. Knowing that this involved something of utmost importance, Jaejoong crossed his fingers as he relayed the message to Yunho.

“Hey, Yunho-ya, get up,” Jaejoong nudged the round bulge in the blanket. This caused it to move slightly, and a groan was emitted from under the blankets. Preparing to perform his ultimate trick, he moved closer to said bed and started unleashing his tickles on poor Yunho.

“Aishhh, stop it,” Yunho managed to sit up despite the ticklish feeling and half-laughed while shouting it.

“Get up, manager hyung wants us to meet him in his office in an hour.” Jaejoong became more serious, almost speaking in a whisper as if he was afraid someone would overhear.

Yunho stared at Jaejoong, mentally debating if he was telling the truth. On one hand, Jaejoong was totally the type to pretend there was a meeting and wait until Yunho was fully prepared to tell him that there was never a meeting in the first place. But, Jaejoong’s serious expression seemed to tell him that there was indeed a serious matter this time.

“Okay, just give me a few minutes, I’ll go get ready,” Yunho muttered, running a hand through his unruly lion-like hair.

Pacing outside in the living room, Jaejoong ruminated in his thoughts. Why would manager hyung ask to meet them so urgently? As far as he knew, managers for trainees were nothing more than glorified babysitters. Usually they would be left to their own devices, only meeting him to obtain their monthly pocket money or when they had done something extremely wrong, like that time Jaejoong got drunk and had almost gotten into a fight if not for Yunho and Heechul restraining him. Could it have something to do with the new boy group Yunho had mentioned to him earlier? Would they really get to debut or would they be dropped like flies because they hadn’t met the company’s expectations?

“Alright, let’s go then.” Jaejoong shaped his features into a smile as he turned to see Yunho coming out of his room. “I don’t really know what this meeting is for but let’s just get it over and done with, eh?” Jaejoong said easily, betraying what he was really thinking.

The ride there was a silent one. Jaejoong stared out of the window, not knowing whether to anticipate or dread the meeting. He clenched his fists as a frisson of fear ran through his heart. What would he do if he got dropped? He had dropped his entire life back in Gongju for this. No, he needed to survive.

As if sensing Jaejoong’s thoughts, Yunho turned and gave him a reassuring smile while slipping his fingers into the older’s hand. Jaejoong looked startled for a moment, then relaxed and calmed down somewhat, giving a grateful smile to his dongsaeng.

★★★★★

“Here, take a seat, any seat!” The manager gestured grandly around his office. This would probably have worked if there weren’t already three boys sitting awkwardly in the couch, trying their best not to touch each other. Jaejoong recognised one as Junsu, Yunho’s friend, and one as a trainee he’d seen sometimes around the building.

He did not, however, recognise the third.

“Uhhhhh, it’s okay, we’ll just stand here,” Yunho answered smoothly for both Jaejoong and himself. Jaejoong once again felt gratefulness rush through him and gave Yunho’s arm a squeeze to express his feelings. Yunho had always been better with words anyway.

“Anyway, from now on, the five of you will be in a group. Lee Soo-man specifically requested to gather the five of you, so you should keep in mind that the chances of you debuting in this group is extremely high. Jaejoong and Yunho will have to move out of the dorm they share with Heechul and Youngwoon. Same for Junsu with Hyukjae and Sungmin. You should expect the training to be tougher and more rigorous than before, as this group is a highly-ranked one.” The manager said smoothly in one breath.

Jaejoong’s heart stopped beating for a split second.

“So this is just another project group then?” Yunho could not hide his excitement as he tried to verify what the manager had just said.

“For all purposes, yes. But this project group is different in the manner that there is an extremely high chance of you debuting in this group, so I suggest you all play nice to each other.” The manager replied, shooting a dirty look at Jaejoong who was known to get into catfights with Heechul frequently.

“Here’s the address and the keys, Yoochun’s stuff is already in it as he just flew in from America yesterday. I suggest the rest of you pack up your stuff and move in by tomorrow.” The manager pointed to the boy he had never seen before while saying this. Before he could process what was happening, Yunho was conveying his thanks to the manager and dragging Jaejoong out of the room. Jaejoong only had time to catch Junsu’s eye and give him a weak smile before the door was closed.

“You know what this means,” Yunho turned to Jaejoong with sparkling eyes. “We’re debuting!”

Jaejoong rolled the word in his mouth. “Debuting, debuting, debuting. Oh god we are gonna debut!” The thought finally sunk into his mind.

The bus ride home was a contrast from the ride there. It was filled with excited chattering and bouncing in seats. What are we gonna do now? Are we really debuting? Who were the other people at that meeting? And the most troubling one of all: How are we gonna tell Youngwoon and Heechul?

The apartment was empty when they entered it. Yunho sent a quick text to Heechul to tell them to be home ASAP while Jaejoong headed straight to his room to pack his luggage. Truth be told, he didn’t have a lot of belongings,

it’s just that they were scattered all around the room and even the apartment. While searching for his (actually it was Heechul’s) favourite black shirt, he heard voices coming from the living room.

“Hey Yunho, you wanted to talk to us?” Heechul said as he flippantly lounged on the couch.

“Yeah hyung, you see…” Yunho started, with a nervous edge in his voice.

Jaejoong hurriedly closed the door. He did not want to and could not bear to hear anymore. Lying on his bed, a thousand thoughts ran through his mind. Sure, his ultimate goal was debuting, but why was it so hard to leave his friends behind? He’d seen it himself, there were many friendships strained when one debuted and the other one did not. To himself, he did not want to leave all these behind. Those hours where they had practiced till late, the time when they went to Apgujung and got looked down upon.

“Hey Jaejoong hyung,” Yunho entered Jaejoong’s room and flopped onto his bed, shocking Jaejoong.

“Yunho-ya, what’s up?” Jaejoong tried to maintain his composure as he sat up, ruffling his dongsaeng’s hair.

“Today, you know the new trainee who was in the meeting today.” Yunho started, only to be interrupted by Jaejoong. “Oh you mean that stringy guy who looked so pampered, people say that he was actually scouted by Jongmin sunbaenim.”

“Yeah him. Actually, I kinda scolded him the first time we met.” Yunho admitted guiltily.

“What? What did that poor boy ever do to you?”

“Nothing, really. I was just fed up with all those trainees coming and leaving. So I… kind of told him to just leave if he was gonna give up.”

“… You need to play nice, Yunho.”

“I will! It was just that one time.”

★★★★★

. Jaejoong broke up with his girlfriend just before debuting. As DBSK only trained together for a few months, I’ll just assume it happened before the formation.  
. Something that is often said is that S.M. was running out of money at that time and thus they threw five of their most talented trainees together (aka DBSK) so that they would be able to gain maximum profit.  
. Jaejoong and Heechul are still very close friends irl.  
. Changmin was scolded (not really but at the same time yes) by Yunho the first time they met.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Has anyone noticed that I have a humongous slight bias towards Changmin too haha. But mostly it was just to depict their relationship in an eyes of an outsider I swear! (and plus chami is so introspective that’s ma boy) Plus I just started work so I'll be uber busy but I'll try to update at least once a week (but no promises ok!)

Taking a deep breath, Yunho walked over to the stereo and cranked it up even further, causing the remaining people in the room to wince.

“One last time!” Yunho’s voice rang over the music and they resigned themselves to repeat the steps until he was satisfied. They knew where he was coming from, of course. But to be worked until they were down to the bone, it could feel really tiring at times.

“Yeah, come on guys, let’s do this!” It seemed like Junsu was the only one who was fully supportive of Yunho. Jaejoong groaned internally. To have not one, but two perfectionists in the group would be hell - today marked their first descent into it. He sighed and steeled himself, willing his body to move in the correct directions. To end this last practice perfectly would be a good start, he told himself. And although all his joints, he was sure theirs were too, were creaking, he somehow managed to execute his part flawlessly, albeit a bit lacking in vigour.

“Okay, we’re done for today then! How about a break?” Jaejoong took it upon himself to suggest it, seeing as the American boy and new trainee, whose names were Yoochun and Changmin respectively, were determined not to say anything even though they were literally bathed in sweat.

“Sure, does anyone want a drink? I think I’ll go to the convenience store opposite,” Oh. The American finally spoke, Jaejoong thought.

“I’ll go with you then,” Jaejoong volunteered, giving what he thought was a reassuring smile to the boy. “Yoochun-sshi.”

Getting up from the floor, he studied the American closely and decided that this would be a good time to get to know his members. After all, wouldn’t they be (conceivably) together for the rest of their idol life?

“Let’s go then,” Jaejoong gave a winning smile to the boy.

To his surprise, the trip was not awkward at all. He had found it easy to talk to the younger boy and found himself pouring out anecdotes about his life, sharing smiles with him. The younger boy too, reciprocated in kind.

“You know, Yoochun-ah, you’re really easy to talk to,” Jaejoong muttered thoughtfully.

“Ah, but I really envy the closeness between you and Yunho-hyung. I mean, you two are practically inseparable.” Yoochun gave a nod, satisfied with his observation.

“Ah, Yunho? I guess so. But we’ve been put together for almost everything, what do you expect?” Jaejoong gave a rueful smile. “I hope that it’ll be the same for the five of us too, then.”

★★★★★

Back, in the practice room, Changmin was awkwardly lounging in a corner of a room, trying to be insignificant. Now, even though he was a growing kid and had not yet grown to his final height of 184cm, he was still pretty tall, and it was hard for him to just melt into the walls.

“Hey, maknae, come over and sit!” Yunho waved him over with a friendly demeanour, with Junsu nodding by his side.

Changmin gave a small smile and sidled to Yunho’s side. Yunho and Junsu then resumed their conversation. Changmin smiled to himself. Yes, he was a kid and as such, no one took him seriously. But being shy did not mean he did not see things. The group dynamic was obviously setting itself well, he thought to himself wryly. Yunho would of course be the father and Jaejoong the mother. The rest of them were like kids to the older two, even Junsu, who was the most charismatic onstage, turned into a bubbling mess of aegyo once the performance was over, as evidenced by his pouting face currently.

“Come oooooooon, Yunho hyung, this will be fun!” Junsu said in his best puppy voice, opening up his eyes as big as possible.

“Okay okay fine,” Yunho seemed to reluctantly agree before grimacing. “Ugh, this again.” Curling up himself, he pressed on his abdomen with his hands, clenching his fists.

“Hyung, hyung, are you okay?” Changmin finally realised Yunho was in pain. “Junsu hyung what do we do?” His panicked eyes set upon an equally panicked Junsu.

“I don’t know! What happened?” Junsu flapped around. “I know, I’ll call Jaejoong hyung! He’ll know what to do!”

As he picked up the phone, Jaejoong rushed into the room.

“Is there something wrong? I heard your screams - Oh Yunho!” Jaejoong noticed him on the floor. Dropping the plastic bag containing the drinks, he whipped around, frantically looking for something. Spotting what he was looking for, he ran towards Yunho’s bag and rummaged through it.

“Aha!” Jaejoong pulled out a bottle that seemed to contain pills. Going over to Yunho, he took out one of the pills and gave it to him. Yunho swallowed the pill after Junsu tossed a bottle of water to Jaejoong, taking a big gulp.

“It’s okay now, it’s okay,” Jaejoong soothed Yunho, adjusting Yunho so that his head lay on the older’s lap. Yunho clung to Jaejoong like he was a safety buoy in the vast ocean while Jaejoong soothed him by patting his head and whispering words of comfort to him.

“Hyung, what’s wrong with Yunho?” Changmin timidly pulled on Junsu’s sleeve, wanting to know what had just happened.

“I’m not sure too, but I think we should leave first,” Junsu whispered back, closing the door to the practice room gently.

Definitely Umma and Appa, Changmin thought.

★★★★★

. Junsu and Yunho described themselves as competitive and perfectionists in several interviews.  
. Jaejoong was the first one to make friends with Yoochun.  
. Jaejoong and Yunho were born before the Lunar New Year and Yoochun and Junsu were born after that. Hence they call them hyung as technically going by the LNY, they are a year older, despite all of them being born in 1986.  
. I dock 2-3cm off from idols’ profile height, so I guess Changmin would be 184cm now. There is no conceivable way that he is even 190cm, especially not after I watched Ep1 of EXO Showtime.  
. Yunho had(has?) some kind of stomach problems because he didn’t eat regularly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Anddddd let the official story begin! Again, really sorry for the huge gaps in updates but I have no excuses except for the fact that my job is sucking my soul out rn (thank god next week will be my last week) and I went to helsinki last week! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and comments are always appreciated!

“Ugh, get off me, I need my beauty sleep,” Jaejoong grumbled as he shook away a warm something that was nudging at him. The nudging however, persisted, and he heard a warm voice float down to his ears.

“Come on Jaejoong hyung, you can sleep all you want later, today is a big big day~” Jaejoong could hear the excitement in Yunho’s voice as he blearily got up and saw Yunho prancing around. The other three beds in the room were already empty and neatly made. Jaejoong inadvertently smirked when he saw it, knowing that Yoochun, the resident neat-freak would have made all the beds first thing in the morning. Yawning widely, he stood up shakily and exited the room, knowing that a prancing Yunho would be hard to deal with first thing in the morning.

"This is it, this is really it," Jaejoong muttered to himself as he splashed cold water toward his face, wincing as the water hit it.

Walking towards their room, he softly opened the the door. Padding on the floor, he smiled softly to see Changmin curled up and hugging his bolster tightly, as if imitating a koala. Perching himself on the edge of his bed, he gently nudged Changmin's shoulder.

"Hey, maknae ah, it's time to get up," But all he got in response was an irritated nghh while Changmin buried himself further into the bed, the duvet covering his whole body. Jaejoong decided to nudge harder, and was rewarded with a faceful of duvet when Changmin abruptly sat up and threw the blanket off himself. Removing the thick blanket from his face to prevent him from suffocating, Jaejoong was faced with a sleepy-eyed Changmin who was looking at him blearily.

“Hey hyung,” Changmin merely nodded towards him and moved in the general direction of the bedroom.

Jaejoong sighed. He did not know if he should be happy that he did not take the position of the leader, and that he would not have to take responsibility for all of his dongsaengs, or feel guilty for pushing the post to Yunho.

Today was going to be a long day.

 

★★★★★

“Hey, Yunho hyung, why are you so tense! You need to relax!” Junsu was bounding with excitement, practically radiating (nervous) energy.

“Yeah,” Yunho rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

“Really, hyung, really? You think you can fool me? Just take a backseat and try to relax okay, everything’ll be fine. We practiced so long, remember?” Junsu then lowered his head and whispered conspiratorially. “Besides, that kid from America should be the one who’s worrying. He’s only trained for a few months and he’s debuting with us? Psshhh.”

“Play nice, Junsu-ya.” Yunho gave him a nudge and looked at Junsu somewhat sternly. “Remember we’re in this all together from now on, alright? Now hop off and talk nice to him. And remember, his name is Yoochun.”

“Oh, alright. I get it, I’ll move.” Junsu groaned, and somewhat reluctantly got up and headed in the general direction of the other boy.

“Hey, Yunho-ya, why so gloomy?” Jaejoong flopped in the seat on the couch that had been previously occupied by Junsu.

“Nah, just thinking about things in general. About us, about this.” Yunho waved vaguely in the direction of the other three boys who seemed to be getting along well enough, despite some lingering awkwardness.

“Hey, come on, don’t think so much alright? We’ll be great, you’ll be great. “ Jaejoong placed his hands on Yunho’s shoulders and started massaging it, easing the knots in both his shoulder and stomach.

Yunho looked around him. The floor was nondescript, blank white slates which were nothing special. Slightly dirty in some places due to wear-and-tear. Three small wooden dressers side by side, adorned with only a simple lightbulb above it. The maknae staring into blank space perched atop a dresser. Yoochun talking with Junsu seemingly listening attentively. Two stylists fussing with Changmin’s hair. One rack of clothes which was now empty. The black leather couch that he was sitting on, the colour faded in some places. And Jaejoong, making him feel at ease.

This was it.

This would be their start.

And it was going to be glorious.

★★★★★

Jaejoong doesn’t remember much. He vaguely remembers Boa-sunbaenim giving them an encouraging hwaiting, and patting him on his shoulder. He remembers seeing the maknae as pale as he has ever seen him. He remembers seeing Junsu’s transformation from bouncy kid to serious singer. He remembers Yoochun in cold sweat, but not wiping it away because the stylists had told him not to touch his make up AT ALL. He remembers Yunho, giving encouraging words right next to him, holding his clammy hands with his warm ones.

He remembers how the music literally took over him, like they always say happen in movies and books, drowning him in their glory and sensations. He remembers how the lightning went crazy and all he could hear was the pounding of his heart. He remembers how the actions came to him even without him thinking, like muscle memory.

Most of all, he remembers his members. His to keep, he thinks.

★★★★★

. Yoochun somewhat has an obsession with keeping things neatly.  
. The five of them shared a room when they first debuted, although the arrangement has changed since then. (If you’re interested, it was mainly Jaejoong-Yoochun, Yunho-Junsu, and Changmin-manager in Korea. And yes I’m sad too that Yunjae didn’t share a room. ): )  
. Yunho took the leadership position because Jaejoong refused it.  
. Debut day video because c’mon, everyone loves it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=DcQv4DMQjOM](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=DcQv4DMQjOM)

. Junsu kinda hated Yoochun when they first debuted because he had trained for 6 years before being able to debut, and here was this gangsta kid from ‘murica debuting once he came back to Korea. Ofc they’re best buds now, Yoosu babies everyone!  
. Jaejoong was one touchy-feely kid.  
. They debuted at BoA and Britney Spears showcase, on 26th December 2003.  
. Junsu seems to have the most distinct difference between his offstage and onstage persona in being a dumb cutiepatootie offstage and a sexilicious booty which is totally sinful onstage.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just received my pre-u results some time back and I went out to party for a few days, after which I started my uni applications! and i got unexpectedly good grades can i cry now i am so so so so beyond pleased. Anyway, here's an update, and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Yunho stared at the bottle of water he was currently holding. This could not be happening to him, he thought. Why would this happen?

“Yunho-ya, is everything alright?” Jaejoong gently touched Yunho’s arm, drawing the younger out of a trance. Yunho looked startled for a moment before schooling his features to hide the feelings he was currently feeling. Nodding somewhat brusquely to Jaejoong, he stood up quickly to hide his trembling legs and headed to the room he shared with Junsu. He noted vaguely that the noise the younger three had been making had disappeared, and guessed that they were probably discussing their leader’s abnormal behaviour.

“He actually tried to demolish the fridge!” Changmin cried out softly, wanting to vent his feelings but not wanting Yunho to actually hear them.

“What did you see him doing?” Junsu questioned in wonder. Their leader couldn’t have gone off the rail, could he?

“Well, he opened it and started tossing all the food out on to the table!” Changmin continued, recounting the atrocity that he had witnessed. “Then he turned around and saw me, so he stammered out some lame excuse about cooking dinner for us.”

“Wait, what dinner?” Junsu continued asking, bewildered about the events. He was the only one though, as Jaejoong and Yoochun, who were sitting behind him on the couch, could be seen hiding their muffled laughter behind a cushion.

“Oh, that.” Changmin waved dismissively. “He actually cooked a whole table of dishes, but they were really horrible, so I threw them out.”

At this point, Yoochun was unable to contain his laughter any longer and swatted Junsu, who turned around to stare at the Yoo- to his -Su, more confused than ever.

“Oh, dear.” Yoochun composed himself and took Junsu by the shoulders. “Of course Changmin ate it all up. Regardless of what Yunho cooked, it was food after all. And how do you expect our dear maknae to keep his hands away? Good one though, Changmin.”

In the room, Yunho could hear them bickering faintly, and smiled to himself. A weak one, but a smile nonetheless. Sitting upright, he mentally berated himself for being like this. In his mind, a leader was supposed to be the protector of the group. And he was good at that, no doubt. He might not know how to do anything else right, but taking care of people was what he did best.

But she, she said I don’t care anymore. How did she come up with this conclusion? Yunho recalled the last conversation he had had with his now ex-girlfriend. 

“You don’t care about me at all! I get that you’re getting famous now, but who am I to you? Just another random stranger trying to grope you? Just forget it ok, never mind. We’re done here, alright? Go call those sasaengs of yours baby instead ok. Just…. forget it.” 

His last image of her had been her storming away in their apartment’s stairwell. Yunho had then sat down and weeped, just like in the dramas. However, unlike the dramas, he was pretty sure she would never come back. In his heart, he knew that he would definitely not end up marrying her. It would not end up with them living happily ever after. He knew that, but experiencing this was another thing altogether.

★★★★★

“Come on, once more!” Yunho placed emphasis on his words. The other band members looked at him, knowing not to retaliate. They were currently stepping on eggshells around him ever since his little episode the night before.

“Jaejoong, your feet are going in the wrong direction!” Yunho whispered softly to Jaejoong. Although he might have been through a rough night, he was not about to take it out on Jaejoong, or the other members for that matter. “Can’t you move them correctly?”

Jaejoong would not admit it to himself, but his heart clenched just slightly at Yunho’s words. Determined not to cause the group to lag behind, he chose to ignore the tingling feeling in his right leg which was going numb, instead focusing on the dance.

Suddenly, he felt as though lightning had shot up from his leg, and he could not help but topple over, allowing his face to meet with the hard wooden floor. Everything went black.

★★★★★

Jaejoong awoke to find himself facing a white ceiling. Remembering what had happened previously, he tried to peer around the bed he was lying on to get a sense of his environment. A sudden pain in his right leg and winced inadvertently. His fingers trailed down to his leg and met with thick bandages instead of flesh. Craning his head upwards, he could make out a door in the corner of the room, along with a small bedside table beside him. Wait, was he in the hospital?

Upon closer observation of the small table, he found that it contained a note that read:  
Jaejoong hyung, the doctor said that visiting hours are over so we had to leave. Don't worry though, we'll be back tomorrow! And try not to move your leg around, strict orders from the doctor. Just press the bell if you wake up, the nurse'll be in to take care of you. Take care! 

There was no name attached but the messy handwriting told him that Yoochun had written it. Smiling slightly, he gently placed the note on the desk and laid down on his pillow, thinking of his lovely dongsaengs. What nagged at his mind though, was the sound of Yunho reprimanding him for his dance. 

The next time he opened his eyes, it was morning and Yunho and Junsu were currently seated on chairs beside his bed. He could hear them discussing about the upcoming promotions.

"... so what do we do now?"

"Can't we postpone the promotion?"

"I asked hyung about it yesterday, he told me he'd try but the chances aren't high."

"We won't promote without him, will we?"

"I hope not, Junsu-ah."

It was then Jaejoong decided he'd heard enough and awkwardly cleared his throat to gain the attention of his band members.

"Oh hey! Jaejoong hyung, you're awake!" Junsu turned his attention towards the older man lying on the hospital bed, looking as if he was ready to give him an enormous bear hug.

"Yeah...." Jaejoong's words shriveled up in his throat as Yunho turned around and gave him an intense look.

"Let me just go and get the doctor," Yoochun, who had been sitting on the couch along the wall. He took off while Changmin came forward to complain about dinner yesterday because "Jaejoong hyung, you didn't make the Kimchijjigae you prooooomised!"

Of course, everything else was forgotten when he heard what his attending doctor had to say, after kicking his band members from the room.

"So basically he's saying that you either choose the surgery that will allow you to promote with us now but will almost definitely give you problems in the future, or choose the surgery that will leave you incapacitated for six months but will definitely heal you completely?” Changmin was nearly bristling with anger as he all but spit out the last words. “That isn’t even a choice!” He continued indignantly. “How could you choose anything else but the second surgery?”

“But.. our promotions,” Jaejoong stuttered feebly, too tired to argue with their maknae.

“I agree with Changmin,” Junsu spoke up, nodding vigorously. “Hyung, your leg is definitely more important than promotions right now!”

Jaejoong lay back as the other three of his members fussed over him, talking over one another to get Jaejoong to agree with them. It was actually kind of endearing in a way, Jaejoong thought to himself. But there was Yunho. Yunho had stood back the whole time, eyes looking at the floor.

Finally, when they were leaving for an interview, Yunho lingered for a few seconds in the doorway, and whispered, “I’m sorry,” so fleetingly that Jaejoong almost wondered if it had been an illusion.

★★★★★

. Ms. Refrigerator is our Changmin’s wife, ‘nuff said.  
. Jokes aside, Yunho is (supposedly) not a good cook.  
. Beatles Code 2, Yunho said his ex-girlfriend dumped him for neglecting her after debut. This was put here because this was the only conceivable place due to timeline issues (you'll see further on)  
. I forgot where I read this, but apparently none of his band members knew about this relationship?  
. Jaejoong cooks and Changmin eats. Soulfighter babies guise.  
. The details about Jaejoong's surgeries are true, and ofc he did the second one in the end cause he wasn't Rising Sun-ing. ):


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope this chapter wasn't too late in coming, but a very heartfelt thank you to everyone who took time out to read this story, and cookies for those who actually commented. And just a heads up, things will be getting more and more drabble-ish and each chapter will be more incident-based because we get more and more incidents occurring rather than small facts here and there as they grow up and become more popular.

Scene 1:

  
_Jaejoong turns around and gets pinned against the telephone booth by Yunho._

_Yunho slams his fists against the telephone booth, on both sides of Jaejoong._

_Yunho looks at Jaejoong (close up on their faces)_

_Yunho: Jaejoong-ah. You, why can’t you understand my heart?_

_Jaejoong looks up._

_Jaejoong: What are you talking about?_

_Yunho takes Jaejoong's hand and places it over his heart._

_Yunho: Inside of me, you are there._

_Jaejoong: Yunho-ya…_

_Jaejoong and Yunho hug._

Jaejoong suddenly stood up from the couch and tossed the script on to the coffee table. Whirling around to find Yunho still very much immersed in the script, he snatched away his copy and too tossed that on the table.

"Wha... what's going on, Jaejoong-ah?" Yunho looked up in time to see Jaejoong's retreating back as he stalked into the room he shared with Yoochun.

Turning to look at Changmin, the maknae was looking up from his own script. Adjusting his glasses, he gave Yunho a well-practiced shrug before returning to his reading. Yunho turned to look at the closed door again before turning back to his own script.

“Aish, the things SM makes us do to satisfy the fangirls,” Yunho sighed under his breath as he continued reading the script. “Is this why Jaejoong was mad? But I thought he loved fan service.” He muttered, causing Changmin to look up from his script once again.

“But hyung, don’t you ever feel awkward with each other?” Changmin questioned, shuddering involuntarily at the thought of fan service. “I mean, sure, you two have nothing going on. But still, doesn’t it feel wrong to do that, like we’re deceiving the fans intentionally?”

“Oh Changmin-ah, the fans do know it’s all fake. But they eat it all up, that’s all that matters to our company.” Yunho shook his head and stood up, preparing to head to the room Jaejoong and Yoochun shared.

“But, are you sure it’s really fan service Jaejoong was mad about?” Changmin whispered softly under his breath, looking once again at Yunho’s back.

★★★★★

“Jaejoong-ah, are you okay?” Yunho knocked softly on the door and opened it gently. What he saw was Jaejoong’s back, talking on the phone rapidly.

“I don’t know, it’s just too much sometimes. I mean, don’t you think the drama is really crossing a line, it’s gonna be soooo awkward filming it, I can’t even imagine what will happen after that. Uh huh… No, it’s not that! I just don’t think it’s okay for us to do this y’know. I know SM is doing it for the money because we’re like the biggest ship ever or something, but we don’t even have a say in something like this. Uh huh…” Jaejoong nodded his head. Spotting something out of the corner of his eye, he whirled around to find Yunho standing in the doorway awkwardly with his hands in his pocket.

“Oh god, call you back later okay. Yeah, yeah. Bye.” Jaejoong hurriedly closed his flip phone and stood up.

“Hey,” Yunho started. “So, what you said just now huh…”

“It isn’t what you think it is!” Jaejoong burst out. “Seriously, it’s not your fault. Sometimes, I just hate this, doing this.” Jaejoong gestured vaguely in the air with his arms and sighing.

“Hey, it’s okay. It really is.” Yunho yelped softly as Jaejoong buried his head in the younger’s chest. Patting the older’s hair, he continued talking. “It’s not all that bad y’know. Do you know how many people are actually out there giving us well wishes? It’s nice to know they’re being supportive of us.”

  
But, what if it is you? What if… I can’t do this because it’s you?

  
This is something that I will have to keep in my heart, forever.

  
I’m sorry.

★★★★★

  
“Look up slowly, Jaejoong-ah, you can do this.” Jaejoong thought to himself as he looked up at Yunho’s face. Yunho’s face was currently scrunched up and was obviously trying hard not to laugh.

Their eyes met and Jaejoong could not help it, he let out an involuntary burst of laughter as he looked at the adorable leader, who had also begun laughing.

-

“Okay c’mon, let’s get into position.” Yunho got up and assumed his position.

Suddenly, Jaejoong felt a slight pressure on his hips. Feeling ticklish, he wriggled around and could not stop his laughter yet again.

“That tickles!” Jaejoong gasped in between laughs.

“Oh come on, you made me look terrible by saying that!” Yunho grumbled, pouting at the cameras.

“Look at you guys,” A coordi-noona suddenly spoke up. “Your faces turned red.”

Jaejoong felt a twinge in his heart as he looked at Yunho. Holding a hand up to feign embarrassment, he turned to look away from the cameras to compose himself.

-

Yunho slammed his fists against the telephone booth as directed.

“He seems to be really getting into his role,” the person who was in charge of lighting commented.”

Yunho gave a short laugh and hugged Jaejoong tightly, unknowingly causing Jaejoong’s heart beat to rise rapidly.

“But he feels so comfortable, who’d know if I leant into his embrace for just a moment.” Jaejoong wrestled with his thoughts. “Well for starters, Yunho would know! How’d I face him after that?” Just then, Yunho cut short his decision making process by releasing Jaejoong from the hug.

-

“There’s you… in my eyes.” Yunho tried out the words on his tongue, looking at Jaejoong intently.

“Okay now, Jaejoong-ah, make it less awkward, make it less awkward.” Jaejoong thought, before mock hitting Yunho’s chest. “Where? Tell me where!”

It worked as Yunho burst into laughter and tried in vain to complete the scene.

  
★★★★★

  
. The first scene is from their infamous banjun drama, Dangerous Love. (and yes the script is wholly accurate because I was watching it while typing this.)

. Jaejoong is the king of fan service, no disputes about that.

. Changmin hates fan service.

. Last part were scenes taken from this video: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=VcoLC3_iLhk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=VcoLC3_iLhk)

. It was reaaally awkward between them after they filmed this, as said by Jaejoong in X-Man.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am jetting away for a short getaway tomorrow so I decided to do an update before I leave! Hopefully it will be of some use in lifting up everyone's mood on a blue monday (or at least, it's monday where i currently am). Enjoy!

  
“Are you sure you’re okay, Jaejoong-ah?” Hyunjoong looked at Jaejoong, worry obvious even through his hazy eyes.

“Yessssss, never been better, in fact!” Jaejoong gesticulated around wildly as proof of his statement, managing to smack some unsuspecting stranger in the face in the process.

“I have to go soon, Youngsaeng just texted me that our manager just finished his meeting and will be back in no time,” Hyunjoong looked around before dropping his voice to a whisper. “Jaejoong-ah, promise me you’ll get Yunho to come get you. You can’t be seen in public like this, you know that right?”

“I will I will,” Jaejoong waved one hand dismissively as the other reached for the mug of beer that had been refilled by the dutiful bartender countless of times. Not that Jaejoong was complaining, of course.

“Hey, just take care of yourself alright? You know where to find me if shit hits the fan,” Hyunjoong stood up and ruffled his friend’s hair before stumbling out of the older’s sight.

“Psssssh, as if I’d call Yunho. As if he’d come get me.” Jaejoong sighed, a loud dramatic sigh, as he recalled their fight earlier that day.

_“Jaejoong-ah, why have you been avoiding me?”_

_“Nah, you’re just thinking too much.”_

_“I know I’m not, Jaejoong-ah. Don’t think I didn’t see you flinch when I tried to reach for you earlier. What’s happening?”_

_“Nothing’s going on, alright? Don’t be so paranoid, geez.”_

_“You’re always like this! I’m not a mind reader you know, I won’t know what’s wrong unless you tell me!”_

_“I said nothing, N-O-T-H-I-N-G, okay?”_

“How could I tell you that it feels so weird between us after we filmed Dangerous Love? Especially when I’m the only one feeling this way….” Jaejoong trailed off as he stared at the mug of beer in his hands.

“Whoa, steady there,” Jaejoong felt a rush to his head as he stood up, swaying to the side unsteadily. “I’m going to get home by myself! Show Yunho that I don’t need him or his stupid sympathy anymore.”

With that, he carefully made his way to the alley of the bar where his car was parked, miraculously going unnoticed by the throngs of people.

Jaejoong winced as he turned the ignition and heard the loud roar of the engine coming to life. God, did his head hurt. Maybe he’d had too much to drink after all?

Truth be told, Jaejoong doesn’t really remember much of the night after that. He remembers bright flashing headlights, a cold and clinical-looking room full of hard surfaces, and a squishy Yunho whom he would be content to cuddle with forever.

Therefore, it came as a shock to him when he opened his eyes to find himself draped over Yunho. Well, he was shocked for about five seconds before a raging headache kicked in and forced him to redirect his thoughts to a more productive pathway such as, where is the goddamned water?

He had just finished gulping down his second glass of water when Yoochun ambled into the kitchen, stopping short when he saw Jaejoong.

“Hey hyung, what the hell happened last night?” Yoochun gave him an once-over. “You look like shit, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Jaejoong grumbled. “And to answer your question, I have no idea. Do you have any idea why I woke up in the same bed as Yunho today?”

“You guys, you guys didn’t!” Yoochun feigned a horrified expression, causing the older man to punch his arm and leave the kitchen, muttering under his breath about  
how it was too early in the morning to deal with such bullshit.

He cautiously entered Yunho’s room only to find him already awake and looking at his phone with a horrified expression, a real one.

“Hey, Yunho,” Jaejoong started, causing Yunho to look up.

“Before you say anything, I know you don’t remember it so I’ll just tell you straight. You got pulled over by some traffic police, spent 10 whole minutes in a police station while I rushed to pick you up, then clung to me like a koala for the whole night. And also, you now have a DUI courtesy of the Republic of Korea.” Yunho recited the whole thing without so much as blinking.

“I... I am so sorry, Yunho-ya, I really am. I don’t know what came over me but…” Jaejoong looked down, unsure of how to continue his sentence.

“Hey, I know you didn’t mean to do it,” Yunho said in a gentler tone. “But you do know that this incident will be publicised, right?”

“Great, now I’ve gone and ruined our group’s reputation too.” Jaejoong groaned.

“Who cares about the group? I’m talking about you here! You do know that the netizens will pick this incident apart and rehash it over and over again even when there’s nothing much to it, right? They will tear you to shreds, and I really don’t want to see that happen to you, of all people!” Yunho practically exploded as Jaejoong looked on in stunned silence.

Yunho… was worried for him? Not for the group, but him?

“I don’t know what to say, Yunho-ya,” Jaejoong finally spoke up softly. “But I think I can handle it, I am the most thick-skinned person around, aren’t I?”

“And also, thanks for letting me cuddle you to sleep yesterday.” Yunho gave a weak smile as Jaejoong bent down and whispered into his ear, giving the younger a tight hug.

★★★★★

. Continuation of them being awkward after filming Dangerous Love  
. Jaejoong and Hyunjoong are best drinking buds (and also best buds ofc)  
. Jaejoong got a DUI one night and spent like 10 minutes in a station before Yunho picked him up


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say.... but I truly apologise for the delay in posting this because this chapter was really hard to write and so I've been putting it off forever. Not really satisfied with how it turned out but I think this is the best I can do for now so I hope you guys enjoy it! And also I promise the next update won't be long in coming!

“Ah,” Jaejoong stumbled slightly as he was jostled from the side by yet another fan. He would have fallen if not for a steady hand that placed itself gently on his hips. Turning around, he felt nothing but warmth as he saw that the hand belonged to Yunho. _Be careful_ , Yunho mouthed.

They should have gotten used to it by now; the chaotic, almost stifling atmosphere of the airport, filled with screams and thousands of fangirls. Jaejoong was torn between feeling grateful for the support of their fans and feeling miffed at how they were invading his privacy. Well, I knew what I was getting into when I signed up, didn’t I? Jaejoong thought to himself wryly. Risking a glance around at his surroundings, he couldn’t help but gulp at the crowd that had formed, and was getting larger by the second.

They should have gotten used to it, but the fame was something Jaejoong could not get used to. Maybe during the night, when he was lying in the privacy of his own room, he could admit to himself that all this felt fleeting. That one day, their fans would realise who Jaejoong really was behind the facade that he presented. That one day, their fans would expose Jaejoong for what he really was, unworthy to be part of the group. That one day, Yunho would realise it and look at him with different eyes.

Shaking those thoughts away, he adjusted his sunglasses such that they were positioned in such a manner so as to hide as much of his face as possible. He turned around briefly to look for his members, and a gentle smile inadvertently made its way to his face as he saw what Yunho was doing.

Ah, his perfect Yunho. He was once again the perfect leader, smiling at fans graciously while gently steering their hands away from him. Jaejoong looked on as Yunho accepted a bottle of water from a slightly hysterical fan and thanked her with a sincere smile.

★★★★★

“Ahhhh, I think my legs are going to break,” Changmin flopped on to the couch, practically moulding himself to the shape of the couch. He only budged when Yoochun poked him in the ribs, threatening to sit on his face if he did not move at once.

Yunho laughed slightly at the scene that was unfolding in front of him. Feeling a pair of eyes staring at him intensely, he looked around only to find that Jaejoong was the culprit. Smiling slightly, he picked up a bottle of water that had been given to him by a fan earlier and walked towards the older man.

“Hey, want some water?” He proffered, holding out the bottle as a peace offering, thinking that Jaejoong was mad.

“Nah,” Jaejoong shook his head slightly, then looked closer at the bottle in Yunho’s hands. “You couldn’t even bother to give me a new bottle of water, could you?” He said in jest, noticing that the bottle had been opened before.

“What, no! I haven’t even taken a sip from it!” Yunho protested vehemently. “But since you so rudely rejected my offer, I guess I shall have a whole bottle of water to myself then.”

Yunho took a large gulp, noting that the water tasted slightly different from what he was used to tasting. He shrugged it off, but wondered if he was coming down with a cold, that would explain why his stomach suddenly felt so wobbly.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jaejoong suddenly asked, noting the change in Yunho’s expression.

Yunho waved a hand, before slightly grimacing.

“Jaejoong,” he managed to rasp out. “I don’t feel so good.”

With that, his whole body sagged and he dry-heaved, as if his body was trying to reject whatever substance he had consumed earlier. Jaejoong staggered with the sudden weight of their leader, but shook Yunho gently, asking him what was wrong. By that time, they had attracted the attention of the everyone in the dressing room, and Yoochun strode to them in large steps.

“What’s wrong, Jaejoong-ah?” Yoochun asked worriedly, seeing the beads of sweat forming on Yunho’s forehead.

“Nothing much,” Yunho managed to say weakly.

The last thing Yunho remembered before blacking out was being cradled in Jaejoong’s arms and hearing Jaejoong scream for someone to call for an ambulance.

★★★★★

Yunho woke up to the sound of someone cursing furiously in Korean, and another voice seemingly placating the other.

Wincing at the loud sound, he tried to get up but only flopped back onto the bed. As he turned his head to look at whatever was making the sound, he heard another loud screech, one which he recognised belonging to Junsu.

“Yunho’s awake!”

Yunho still wasn’t very clear, but what he gleaned from his members and friends (especially Heechul, who had been exceptionally vocal about his feelings for the anti-fan) made his blood run cold.

Why? Why would someone hate me that much to even want to try to kill me? Did I do something so heinously wrong? Was all he could think about for the remainder of the night, as he let the voices in his room overlap and tuned them out.

Before he knew it, a nurse had announced that visiting hours were over and could the visitors kindly make their way out?

He barely even noticed as they bid their goodbyes, not even when Jaejoong whispered something in his ear as he leant down to hug him.

It was only after the last visitor had left and the door had closed that Yunho realised what Jaejoong had whispered to him.

Yunho smiled wryly, it was just like Jaejoong to know what he had been thinking all along.

_It wasn’t your fault, please don’t overthink this._

★★★★★

. Jaejoong is highly insecure (idky too that man is gorgeous omg)  
. Heechul was especially vocal in his opinion regarding this incident: http://shitheechulsays.tumblr.com/post/10874877238/heechul-cyworld-entry-after-yunhos-poisoning-incident  
. Yunho’s poisoning incident by an anti-fan


End file.
